


Wilting

by rickbisexualgrimes



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Kiss, Flashbacks, M/M, Season/Series 07, Season/Series 09, Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 09:58:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18280808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rickbisexualgrimes/pseuds/rickbisexualgrimes
Summary: Time in the cell has Negan wanting to reminisce on moments not long forgotten.





	Wilting

**Author's Note:**

> *clinks glass* cheers to me finishing up these WIPs & clearing up my personal list.

"This conversation is over." Rick growled at Negan who still seemed unabashedly amused. "Do you ever know when to shut your damn mouth?"

 

 

Negan stroked his bearded chin and pretended to contemplate. "Nope! I thought you'd love to walk down memory lane and talk about what happened. And what can still happen if you catch my drift."

 

 

“Nothing happened between us.  You know that and yet you're tryin' to -"

 

 

"I kissed you and you kissed me back.  I'd say that's somethin' , sure it wasn't sex but it's still a memorable moment."

 

 

Was Rick really surprised that Negan would bring it up again? No. Did it bother him that he was bringing up a moment of vulnerability? Yes. It was like every time he thought he had the upper hand - he didn't. And it wasn't like he took his chances to take stabs at the former leader. In fact Rick did it more often than he wanted to honestly admit. Negan deserved it but it was only fanning the flame and making him lash out.

   
  
  


Whenever their conversations escalated - Rick would always leave the room. He didn't want to resort to violence because what example would that set? Negan was already locked up and couldn't do anything about it. So in Rick's eyes he didn't see what beating the hell out of him would do. Though not many people would attest to him doing so. Most would happily welcome that alternative.

 

 

Rick leaned forward in his chair and looked anywhere but Negan. "You know I still to this day haven't told anybody that we met before all this. Not even to Michonne and I tell her pretty much everythin'."

 

 

"Why?" Negan flicked his tongue out to wet his bottom lip. "Ashamed of me?"

 

 

"I'm ashamed of letting you be that way with me. How you got some type of - "

 

 

"Hold on you? Is that what you were gonna say? It doesn't take a goddamn genius to see that, Rick. Maybe that's why you couldn't kill me and instead slit my goddamn throat."

 

 

"It's all a joke to you isn't it?"

 

 

"Maybe and maybe fucking not. I just love twisting your balls and I sure wouldn't mind physically handling them. And somethin’ tells me you wouldn’t mind that either.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Negan couldn't believe his fucking eyes - Rick Grimes was alive and was the leader of Alexandria. The same community that caused him a whole lot of grief. Which by grief he meant losing a shit load of his people. Now he was looking into the eyes of the man who couldn't stand him pre apocalypse. Sure, they almost kissed but it didn't happen because Rick didn't want to cheat on his wife._

_So much time had passed without running into each other that Negan presumed he died. After what he'd known of Rick, he was never made for the apocalypse. Let alone one where dead people walked and ate your flesh like a juicy steak._

_Now Rick was threatening him with sweat dripping down his curls and a shivering bottom lip. And as twisted as it was - Negan thought it was hot as fuck. Rick was always a looker but now he was so beautiful it fucking hurt. He definitely looked more mature than when they last spoke._

_After antagonizing Rick and getting Simon to hand over Rick's ax - Negan grabbed Rick by the shoulder of his coat. He then dragged him across the gravel as a show of dominance. "I'll be right back. Maybe Rick will be with me. And if not, well, we can just turn these people inside out, won't we? I mean.. the ones that are left."_

_Negan lived for the dramatics which led to him shoving Rick inside the RV. The younger man landed with a grunt and Negan didn't give him a chance to get up. He shoved Rick again just to show he was serious about everything. Just because they knew each other before - didn't mean shit now._

_"Did you know all along? That I was the leader that your people have been so hell bent on killing?" Negan asked Rick before slamming his ax down into the table. "I mean you had to have considered it. Especially since my name's definitely not a common one."_

_"I did consider it but it didn't matter whether it was you or not. It still doesn't 'cause I meant what I said out there. I'm gonna kill you eventually." Rick managed to get to his feet and Negan noticed he was eyeing the ax._

_"Go ahead and try to fucking kill me. All your people out there will be fucking blown to hell when you come out without me. And besides darlin' , you still owe me a kiss. "_

_"You think I'm gonna kiss you, let alone touch you, after what you just did?"_

__  
  


_Of course Rick still has a stick up his ass, some things never really change._

_Negan rolled his eyes at Rick who just glared at him like it'd achieve something. His tongue instinctively poked through his teeth and Rick took notice. From where Negan was standing he was far away enough if Rick tried something. Which as Negan expected he went for the ax and it gave Negan some time to grab the gun close by._

_"Drop it." Negan softened his voice just to get Rick to actually listen. He didn't want to kill him this quickly into things, at least not until he heard how Rick survived._

_Once Rick did drop his ax, that's when Negan went got close enough to take it from him.  He set the gun aside then he gut punched Rick as his punishment. "Don't you get it by now? There's not a damn thing you can do to change any of this. This is the new world fucking order and that's that. Of course you can try to revolt but I'll make an example of Alexandria. I'll kill all of your people and make you watch while I do it."_

_Rick didn't stay down for long and got up to throw a punch at Negan. When it connected Negan felt blood in his mouth which he spat out at Rick. It wouldn't end well for either of them so Negan told Rick to sit the fuck down. When the other man obeyed his order - he felt himself gaining the upper hand again._

_"Throw another punch again and I’ll use your ax to cut that hand right off. If you think I'm bullshitting I invite you to give it a fucking try. Otherwise just sit here and listen unless you're too fucking stupid for that."_

_"I already heard what you have to say."_

_What a stubborn little prick. "Actually you've been too busy acting like a fucking idiot. I just killed two of your men out there and you're threatening me and throwing punches! Most people would be blubbering by now and kissing my boots. But that's not you is it? The guy I knew before is long dead and you're what's left."_

_"I've changed but you haven't all that much. You're still a loud mouth asshole who wants what he can't have." Rick spat without fear. "What happened to Lucille by the way? I see you named your murder weapon after her."_

_"Shut your fucking mouth about Lucille."_

_Rick's facial expression went from scowling to neutral in a few seconds flat. "I'm sorry."_

_"Are you? I don't need your fucking pity because she's my dead fucking wife. You and your perfect one barely knew us so shut the fuck up."_

_"Lori and I didn't have a perfect marriage and she wasn't perfect. I loved her but I won't sit here and pretend I had a happy marriage. We actually were barely speaking by the time she died."_

_"What happened?"_

_"She died givin' birth back at the prison some of us lived at before." Rick mentioned without choking up because it didn't really hurt anymore. He'd been able to heal from his loss of Lori and came to terms with their marriage dying beforehand. A part of him would always have her in his heart. But that was the extent of it and talking about it wouldn’t kill him. Not like it did before._

_Negan's face softened and he looked genuinely sympathetic. "Fuck, that's just..I'm sorry. Did your baby survive?"_

_"The baby survived but she's not mine. At least she's not biologically mine and it's a long story."_

_"From what I remember you're a good dad, Rick. She's lucky to have you taking care of her and to have Carl as her brother."_

_Their eyes met and Rick didn't know what came over him exactly. One minute his eyes were staring into Negan's and then they moved to his mouth. When he glanced up he could tell Negan noticed that he was looking. Something in the other man's eyes changed. They were more lust filled and Rick felt turned on himself._

_Rick felt his pants getting tighter and wanted to get the hell out of the RV. Of course any sudden movements would look like an attack. So Rick stayed put in his seat and waited for Negan to speak.He examined the way Negan looked a bit older with his beard. Back when he knew him, he was clean shaven, rarely did he ever have facial hair. Rick thought he looked attractive either way._

  
  


_It felt like the RV was on fire, that’s how hot Rick felt, which was troublesome. Feeling anything sexual or otherwise towards Negan said more about himself. Them knowing each other prior to the apocalypse wasn’t an excuse either. Michonne would likely be the only person who wouldn’t judge him. At least not too harshly. Everyone else on the other hand would be disgusted. And Rick wouldn’t blame them for feeling that way._

  
  


_The way Negan was looking at him didn’t seem right. His smile was soft like they weren’t enemies to each other._

  
  


_“We’ve got off on the wrong foot. This shouldn’t have been how we reunited.” Negan practically whispered. “Y’know I have thought of what it woulda been like to kiss you.”_

  
  


_Rick gulped and felt the sweat dripping down his forehead. “Is that what it’ll take for me to keep them safe?”_

  
  


_“If you don’t wanna kiss me then I won’t fucking make you. Contrary to what you believe I wouldn’t force that.” Negan’s face went serious and Rick knew he was speaking the truth._

  
  


_“What does it say about me that I’m even considering it? “_

  
  


_“It says that you’re only human and that I’m pretty irresistible.”_

 

_Rick thought of how it might keep Negan from hurting anyone else. He did want it, deep down he’d always wondered, but it wasn’t just that. Inside he felt so conflicted and yet he still got out of his seat. Rick approached Negan nervously then grabbed hold of his leather jacket. He felt himself grinding his teeth out of anger. Not just anger towards Negan but anger towards himself. For even getting this close after what happened. Still, he made the first move by moving in close._

 

_The last thing he saw before he closed his eyes were Negan’s. And when their lips touched he took a deep breath. Rick wasn’t inspecting it to be soft or tender for that matter. He expected teeth and rage and possession. If  he was being honest, that was what he was hoping for._

 

_When they pulled away it felt like being pulled out of a dream. Rick wiped his mouth and looked away. “What the hell was that?”_

  
  
  


_“What?” Negan stared at him with a puzzled expression._

  
  
_”You could have kissed me any way you wanted to. Yet you chose to be like_ **that** with me.   
  
  
  


_“Don’t tell me you didn’t like that shit. I had you practically shaking like a teenager being kissed for the first time.”_

  
  


_Rick scoffed at the older man and tried to pretend that wasn’t the case. “One thing I wanna make clear is that you keep this between us.”_

  
  


_“Til my dying day. Unless you piss me off then I’ll be bringing it up as much as I fucking want. Got it?”_   
  
  


_“Yeah, I got it.”_

  
  
  
"Good. Glad we're on the same fucking page! Now let's get back to what I've got planned for you."  Negan winked and moved to get the RV started up. 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Thinking about getting to kiss Rick sometimes made Negan feel warm. It wasn’t much and they’d never done anything since. Though it was something that he knew Rick enjoyed too. Probably when he wasn’t feeling so hateful, angry and disgusted with him.

   
  


Negan was already finished re telling the story and Rick hadn’t left yet. All he did was glare at him from where he was sitting down, his legs were crossed and it looked like he wanted to say something. All the tension was making Negan really antsy for something to happen. Even if it meant Rick coming into the cell to punch him in the fucking jaw.

   
  


He clicked his tongue in the way he knew Rick absolutely hated. Negan knew just how to get a rise out of Rick, he didn't have to think too hard about it.

  
  
  
When Rick rose from his seat and turned around to leave - he panicked. Negan scrambled to tell him that he wanted him to stay. Sitting by himself day in and day out was as boring as watching paint dry. Not that Rick was supposed to care about his boredom. He just hoped that he'd amuse him a bit longer.

  
  
  
Instead of sitting back down, Rick opted to stand up to listen to what he had to say. Nervously Negan asked Rick what was on his mind. With a chuckle Rick told him that he didn't want to talk about it anymore. Which by it he meant the kiss they shared in the RV.

  
  
  
"Tell me one thing though. Have you thought about it much after it happened? Maybe not as much as I did but tell me the truth." Negan wasn't expecting a warm answer from the younger man. He expected Rick to snap at him and not admit to anything. Much to his surprise Rick told him he had. 

 

 

Rick took a deep breath through his nose and met Negan's eyes. "Don't read too much into it. I think 'bout a lot of things that I would rather not. Anyway, I need to go and get back home. "

 

 

"Okay, Rick. By the way how are things at home? You and Michonne doin' good or is there trouble in paradise?"

 

 

"Goodnight, Negan."

 

 

Just like every time Rick left, Negan watched him and listened as he walked up those stairs and shut the door behind him. Negan was used to being left alone in the dark, waiting for company or simply waiting for Rick.  Unfortunately it didn't numb the fact that he felt like he was wilting on the inside. It was like a slow death being in the cell and not seeing the new world. But he was confident he'd get out someday, no matter what it cost to do so. 


End file.
